This is the time of the year when I get too much affected not because this is the same time when you left the world and join God in heaven. I have always had trouble in getting used to it as this happens every year - same month, same feelings, same emotions outpouring as I lament over it.
When I was growing up, I seldom talked about you maybe because I don't get to see you often since you we're working miles away from home. I never had a chance building a good relationship with you and before I knew it you left us behind. I didn't have a clear picture of what was happening during our troubled years I was taught to just accept it without understanding what really happened.
Years passed, and you came back left with nothing but us. I somehow rejected the thought of you coming back into our lives but a part of me is happy to see you around. I just didn't realize it soon enough, well, I guess because I never told you what I should have said. No, I never told you I just held it in...
Life seem to be a bit unfair because I haven't had much of you being around while we we're trying to put back what we have left behind when suddenly He took you away for the second time, but this time - forever. All my hopes of building that connection between us had vanished. I was blown away by the thought of you not coming back anymore. I was caught off guard. I wasn't ready after all.
I terribly missed you, Dad. I chose not to speak what I have in mind, I refuse to express what my heart feels and I refrain from talking about you. I want it to stay that way and kept mum about it.
